Racism

Since starting my blog, I don't write in my journal enough. But sometimes I put something in my journal that I'm not sure I want out for public consumption. I wrote this a couple days ago, but decided I'd go ahead and share it. I'm using a lot of generalities and realize that what I'm saying doesn't apply to all or even most people. I have a hard time sharing my feelings on race because I feel that anything I say will be harshly criticized. However, it's part of my life now and staying quiet about it doesn't make that go away.

Adopting black children has not made me an expert on African American culture, racism, prejudice, ethnic hair or anything else. It has opened my eyes to a whole new world and made me sensitive to things that I may have never noticed before. In my humble opinion, I think there is a lot to be done on both sides of the black/white race line. For example, whites need to be aware that White Prejudice is real. It may not be intentional, but it exists. It's completely different from racism. Someday I'll do a post just about this. On the other hand, black people need to realize that many white people are trying to overcome the past and bridge the gap, but shouldn't be held accountable for things that happened in the past and that are outside their realm of control. Walking around with a chip on the shoulder doesn't help anyone.

I'm grateful that my personal experience for the most part has been with people trying to reach out and understand one another. I like what Will Smith said in an interview, "You know guys, I really don't think America is a racist nation. I know that I feel like that sometimes, but I just don't believe that. There are racist people who live there, but I don't think America as a whole is a racist nation." I agree with that. Unfortunately, sometimes those racist people have loud voices.

Not long ago, six black teenagers (aged 13 to 19) jumped an 18-year-old white kid here in Columbia and beat him almost to death. The crime was horrific and very brutal. The police said it wasn't a hate crime and that has caused a bit of an uproar. The message boards and reactions are full of irate people who say that if it had been white kids jumping a black kid, it would have been classified a hate crime.

That may be true, but the thing that has bothered me the most and that I can't get out of my head is the racist nature of the comments after the online articles. They use the "n" world and terms like "monkey" and "big lips." It makes me cringe. I know my children don't have big lips (not that it would matter if they did) or look like monkeys, but I don't want them to ever read something mean, hateful and spiteful like that. Sadly, I know the day will probably come when they will. It has shaken me up to know that racism like that is simmering under the surface nearby. I know people that write on message boards are usually wacko anyway, but it's still been eating at me. It's caused me to rethink whether or not I want to stay in South Carolina. I should note that we have personally received nothing but kind treatment from people here in the South, regardless of race.

Maybe we have this kind of racism in Utah too, but it's not as obvious. In Utah it's more a matter of ignorance. A matter of making light of things that are hurtful and thinking that others shouldn't be hurt by those things rather than acknowledging that a change may be in order. That's bad too.

I wish I could protect my kids from hurt. I hope the foundation of love and the gospel will be enough to get them through painful times. I especially worry about my cute, sweet Jalen. I hope when he gets a crush on a little girl, her parents will let him date her. I hope he'll never get pulled over by a police officer just because he's black.

Maybe I need to do research on where the best place is to live for racial integration. Or maybe I need to pray for the millennium to come faster.

My children are so beautiful - so amazing. I hope they will always believe that.