Modesty Should Not Be Controversial

So apparently, some Mormon women and other blog "experts" are up in arms again. This time over an article in the Ensign that talks about modesty and dares to mention that young women can help young men by dressing modestly. I cannot understand why this causes such a response.

I think we need to teach young women AND young men what it means to objectify women and how immodesty contributes to that. Granted, men should dress modestly as well, but let's not pretend that it's the same thing. It's a biological fact that women are not stimulated visually to the same degree that men are. (Okay, Chris Helmsworth in Thor II may be an exception.)

I think that many adult women are immodest, so it's not surprising when those particular women get defensive about this topic. I remember hearing of one mother who when helping her daughter select a prom dress said, "She's got it, so why not flaunt it?" Really? That is the message you want to send your daughter and whomever she is dating?

I don't think that asking young women to dress modestly is the same as blaming them for a young man's thoughts. I don't think anyone is trying to say that. One blogger took it so far as to call it "Mormon rape culture." Seriously? Teaching a young woman to dress modestly is somehow contributing to a rape culture? In what warped world does that make sense?

I seriously doubt that the women who complain about an emphasis on modesty have a close loved one that is struggling with pornography addiction. If they did, they would welcome any effort to help that person. Our society as a whole has no modesty boundary. As Mormons, Christians or believers in God in any context, shouldn't we stand up for modesty? One thing I have always admired about the Muslim culture is their adherence to modesty.

This is my beautiful daughter. We live in a wicked, wicked world. Anything I can do to protect her and strengthen her sense of self worth is worth it to me.

This is my awesome son. Anything I can do to help him avoid the vicious trap that is pornography, I will do. I don't really care if you find that offensive.

Winter Storm 2014 (oh, and an earthquake)

I decided I should take a moment and post about this amazing ice storm that we've just experienced in the South. I have friends who have grown up here and have never seen anything like it. (Two storms were apparently similar, but not as bad.)

We had a lot of snow a few weeks ago, but the difference this time was that the snow was actually ice pellets. It was wet, hard and actually hurt when it hit you - kind of like hail stones only wetter. The weather service used terms like, "historic" and "catastrophic." Eli Jacks, a meteorologist with National Weather Service, said "Sometimes we want to tell them, 'Hey, listen, this warning is different. This is really extremely dangerous, and it doesn't happen very often.'" Or as my friend, Claire said, "Not a good sign if Jim Cantore (from the Weather Channel) shows up!".

Baylie's school let out early. This is what it looked like when I went to get her.

Much as I make fun of the fact that everything closes for a little snow, I understand why they do and I'm grateful. All you have to do is look at the problems in Atlanta and Raleigh to appreciate the wisdom of shutting down for these storms. And in reality, this one deserved the hype.

Here is a picture of our front yard after the first storm that was actually snow.

Here is a picture my neighbor Emily took of our cul de sac. You can see that this storm is pure ice.

It snowed pretty heavily for two days. The snow was so wet and heavy, it pulled down power lines and hundreds of thousands of people were without power. We were fortunate and never lost ours. We were also fortunate to have emergency food storage so we don't have to run to the grocery store and stock up when things like this happen. There's great comfort in realizing that we're prepared for emergencies.

The missionaries were told to stay inside and given permission to watch Church movies. Since they live close by us, they came by to borrow a movie. They chose to watch "Ephraim's Rescue,." a movie about the Martin Handcart Company. (Coincidentally, I am a direct descendant of the title character.) However, when they saw the pioneers struggling through the snow with bleeding feet, they started to feel guilty and decided to go out and work in the icy snow. When I found out, I pointed out that many members of the Martin Handcart Company actually died and perhaps trudging through wet snow wasn't the best way to follow their example.

The snow built up so high on our porch that we had trouble opening the door. Never thought I'd miss owning a snow shovel.

David and I were smart and brought our nice ice scraper from Utah when we came back at Christmas. Then we were dumb and left it where Jalen could get to it. It ended up buried under seven inches of snow somewhere in our backyard. We tried pouring hot water on the windshield, but it just froze there.

Normally, multiple sets of missionaries aren't allowed to eat at the same home the same night, but because of the storm and the fact that the other missionaries couldn't get to their meal appointment, they let them all eat with us. What great young men. We love having them over.

We are finally starting to thaw out. The snow is so heavy, it is making the trampoline sag.

If you look closely, you can see the tramp mat sagging.

We affectionately call this Lake Batchelor. It is becoming more and more soggy and more and more muddy. I don't know when the kids will be able to play in the backyard again. We've been doing things like running stairs and having dance-a-thons to try and burn energy.

Then to top it all off, apparently last night at about 10:30, there was an earthquake! I am a notorious night owl and the one night I go to bed early, something exciting happens. (Last time I experienced an earthquake, it was a 6.6 in Los Angeles and I was three years old. I slept through that one too.)

One of the things I have loved about living in South Carolina is the moderate weather. So much for that!

Valentine Pictures

I failed to plan in advance for Valentine's and we have been shut in since Tuesday night. Late last night, I realized that I didn't have anything ready for my family for Valentine's Day! Thank goodness for Pinterest and craft supplies.

I was able to make some white chocolate suckers died pink, make some homemade cards, add some food coloring to the milk and voila!

This morning David made the kids pink Valentine-shaped pancakes, of course.

The table with cards.

David's Card

Baylie's Card

Jalen's Card

Valentine pancakes

Hope you had a happy Valentines!

What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Throughout my life, from time to time, I’ve met men with whom I’ve really clicked. We had a lot in common, could talk about anything, had those magic glances across the room where you just know what the other person is thinking, read the same books, like the same things, etc., etc. These men became great friends in my life. I even fancied myself in love with some of them.

I’ve heard some people talk about love at first sight. I’ve heard of couples that can’t keep their hands off of each other. I hear of people marrying their high school sweethearts. I see couples that seem to have perfect relationships. I can't relate to any of these.

Sometimes I wonder if I feel love deeply enough, or if I have a shell around my emotions. Sometimes I wish that David and I had more in common. I wish I knew more about music or that he liked sports more or that we could talk about books we’ve both read. Sometimes I wonder if our love is as strong as it should be or if it’s as strong as that of other couples.

Then there are other days. There are the days when I see David wrestling on the floor with our kids and I feel like my heart will overflow with love for him. There are the nights where he pulls my feet into his lap and gives them a rub, knowing it’s my favorite thing. There are the times I open the dishwasher and find that he’s put the dishes away or the mornings I go to make the bed and find it’s already been done. There are the flowers he buys me just because. There are the times when I’m mad and giving him the silent treatment and he forces me to talk it out. There is the fact that whenever I need to know where a scripture is found, he knows where to find it. There is the pride I feel when I hear him sing or listen to something he has composed be played. There is the fact that I know he chose me to spend his life with. I could go on.

So I’ve been thinking about it and I guess for me, love is a choice. It’s a choice I made 12 years ago. It’s a choice that I keep making over and over again. It didn’t just happen. It’s not perfect or magical, but I know that it’s right.

Happy Valentine’s Day, David. I love you.

Big Boy Bed

Until last week, Jalen was in a toddler bed that he had outgrown a while ago. It was beginning to impact his ability to get a good night's sleep. We couldn't afford to buy him a bed and I wasn't sure what to do. 

When we needed a bed for Baylie, I knew I wanted to get a full size bed so we had a place for company to sleep. Miraculously, two different beds were offered to us for free. Since that worked so well, I decided to start praying about a twin bed. Again, the Lord provided and we actually had four different twin beds offered to us. We payed $50 for a mattress and box spring and then took a bunk bed set that was offered.

Jalen is soooooo excited to sleep in a top bunk. (Currently the bottom bunk is just a box spring.) He sleeps through the night and sometimes even sleeps past 6:30 now.

Since school was cancelled due to snow today, we decided to let Baylie sleep up there with him last night. She's been anxious to try out the top bunk.

This warms my heart!

And since Jalen is no longer in the toddler bed, I finally had to finish the quilt I pieced together for him four years ago! All that was left was the binding and I have just put it off all this time. 

I think next I'll start praying for a wheat grinder...