Jagged Little Pill

It has been an emotional week at the Batchelor Pad. A week ago Thursday, David and I met with a group from the elementary school. The group was comprised of Jalen's teacher, an assistant principal, a counselor and a special education teacher. I can't remember what the group was called, but they work together to help students that are struggling. We were meeting because Jalen's teacher is not sure he is ready to move on to first grade. We have been concerned about the same thing.

When last tested, Jalen knew 15 uppercase letters and 15 lowercase letters - not all the same ones - and he knew the sounds of 13 letters. He only knows a handful of his sight words. He's significantly behind the other kids in his class. Worst of all, he knows it and it bothers him.

The meeting was a bit frustrating because I felt like we were on the same page as Jalen's teacher so I thought the meeting was just to reconfirm that, but once we got in the meeting, it was obvious the vice principal was not in agreement with us. In the course of talking with her, we felt like Jalen was being treated more like a statistic than an individual. At one point she told us that Jalen was lucky because as a black boy born into poverty, dropping out wouldn't be an option since we were his parents. While we knew it was intended as a compliment to us, we found it highly offensive and we were sure it wouldn't have been said if we were black.

One thing we have known for a while is that Jalen might have attention deficit disorder. I have always had the mindset that as a society we over medicate our children, especially boys, and that we just need to provide them with more physical activity. (Jalen doesn't get recess until 2:00, which I think is ridiculous.) I never wanted to put Jalen on medication. I am now learning I was making a broad generalization that wasn't really fair. I am in Jalen's classroom at least once a week and I have seen how hard it is for him to focus and stay on task.

In the meeting, I learned that we could have Jalen evaluated for ADD by having David, me, and his teacher each fill out a form about him. I went to the doctor's office that same day to get the form. There are different versions, but the one we were given by Jalen's pediatrician was the Vanderbilt assessment. It was very eye opening. There were many things on the form that I had no idea were part of ADD - like the way Jalen gets easily frustrated or discouraged. I have been concerned for a while that he gets so angry and sad - more so than seems normal for a child his age. I had no idea that it was part of ADD. We got the forms to his teacher on Friday and got them back on Monday. I drove them to the doctor's office the following day.

My mother taught third grade for a long time and speaking with her reconfirmed that we should explore the option of medication. I had been thinking that if we kept him back, we could avoid putting him on medication, but my mom explained that if he has ADD, keeping him back won't change that. She said that asking him to succeed at school if he has an impairment that we could help him overcome wouldn't be fair.

We were able to get Jalen into the pediatrician on Thursday afternoon and she confirmed that he has all the signs of ADD. She prescribed Adderall for him. We were nervous, but excited to see if it would help him. She prescribed him a very low dose and said that we will adjust it as we see how he adjusts. She warned us of the side effects, the most prevalent of which are loss of appetite and headache.

Jalen took his first pill on Friday morning. We were surprised at how quickly it seemed to take effect. Because of some changes to our schedule, I ended up driving the kids to school (usually I can't because of seminary). I asked Jalen how he was feeling and he said that it felt like his brain and his heart had slowed down.

He had a GREAT day at school. The teacher's aide, who has known Jalen since Baylie was in kindergarten, stopped me to tell me that it was the best day she had ever seen him have. His teacher also stopped me in carpool line to tell me he was completely engaged all day. He didn't seem to suffer from a loss of appetite, but did have a bit of a headache. (We had given him the Adderall with Tylenol.) Best of all was how happy Jalen was with his day. He couldn't wait to look at his Dojo score and he told me that it had been a really good day.

As the medicine wore off, it was very obvious. At one point, Jalen told me the monkeys were back in his head. He had a really hard time functioning at his basketball game that night. He was frustrated at the changes in his head. I asked him if he liked it better when his brain was calm or when it was active and he said he liked it better calm.

Today I was gone all day to a meeting in Atlanta, but when I came home, I asked Jalen how his day was. He said "I had the best day." That might not sound like much, but Jalen never says that. Again when the medicine started to wear off, he said that he was starting to feel "dizzy again."

I was worried that Jalen would lose his personality or his creativity or his imagination. I'm still not sure what effects it will have on him that way, but seeing how happy he is and how proud he is of the changes makes me teary eyed with happiness for him.

We have to meet with the pediatrician every month to evaluate Jalen's progress and check his blood pressure. We meet with the school again in 12 weeks to see what kind of progress he has made. We're hopeful that the medication will allow him to gain some ground educationally. We've asked the principal to participate in the next meeting.

Jalen is a very intelligent boy. We're hoping that these changes will allow him to use that intelligence to be successful in school.

The Party Continues

For his birthday, Jalen received money from friends and grandparents. He decided to use the money to buy some superheroes, a sucker and then take the family to Frankie's Fun Park. (He had a lot of money left over that he's saving for later.)

A few of his favorite things - superheroes and a sucker.

Frankie's is a super fun place. They have go-carts, miniature golf, slides, etc., but our kids prefer to play in the arcade. The games are reasonably priced so they get to play a lot of games without spending too much  money.

After Frankie's we headed to Sam's for a feast of hot dogs. 

It was a super fun night and we were really proud of Jalen for sharing his birthday money with the family.

Happy Birthday, Jalen!

Today was the actual birthday. He asked if today for his birthday he could have a tray lunch instead of having me make lunch (stinker). I met him for lunch so he could pass out cupcakes to his classmates. He thought that was great.

He loved being the focus of attention today.

This kid is always in motion.

He chose funnel cakes and whipped cream for dinner and then we had some more of his birthday cake from the party along with cookie dough ice cream. 

He got to be in charge at bedtime so he decided that only the kids would pray, not mom or dad. (I think he thinks we take too long...) All in all, he had a great birthday.

As for me, Jalen's birthday is always tender for me because his adoption was the most spiritual experience of my life. I love him so much and am so grateful I get to be his mother.

Super Hero Training Camp (i.e. Jalen's 6th B-day Party)

We've all been pretty excited about Jalen's superhero birthday party. We sent out invitations a couple of weeks ago. We decided to have it at the church because we weren't brave enough to have that many little boys in our house.

The night before the party, we let Jalen open a couple of presents so we could use them for the party.

He LOVED his Hulk costume and you can kind of see the other gift - a punching bag.

When the superheroes arrived, they were directed into the cultural hall.

Once there, they could change into a superhero costume if they wanted to. There were several changes made throughout the party. All the boys swapped costumes.

We had several superhero games. They tossed the Captain America shield frisbee to knock over the cans. (formula cans)

They punched through the paper to get prizes. (styrofoam and Solo cups)

They threw bean bags through Hulk's mouth. (David drew this awesome Hulk.)

Picking up balls of kryptonite. (spray painted aluminum foil)

Jalen's new punching bag.

David made signs to hang around the room.

We kept the boys out of the hallways.

Web crawler.

Bomb blasters.

We also had lots of super hero treats.

Bags of popcorn. (Got the bags on clearance from Target and printed the superheroes from Pinterest.)

Captain America shields. (Sugar cookies - refrigerated dough on clearance from Walmart - with candy melting disks.)

Thor hammers. (Marshmallows and pretzel sticks)

Hulk Krispies (FYI - kids don't want to eat green Rice Krispie treats)

Spider Eggs (FYI - adults are creeped out by cheetos being called spider eggs)

Captain America shield cake - HUMONGOUS and tasty. 

David made the city backdrop for the treat table. We had decorated #10 cans to put superheroes on.

The boys got superhero certificates and some fun take aways. (Take aways are expensive!)

These boys had so much fun!

Our happy family.

Blowing out the candles. (He got so hot he had to take off his costume.)

Once the party was over, we let the boys take down the brick wall. (They were made out of holiday displays from Pets Mart.) They had a blast tearing it apart.

We were exhausted from the party. It took us almost three hours to set up and another hour to clean up. It couldn't have gone better. Hopefully Jalen will always remember it.

We sure love this little boy. He will be six on Tuesday.

Happy New Year!

Only two days in and so far we're loving 2016. Baylie tried so hard to stay up to ring in the new year. She fell asleep at about 11:45. We woke her up in time to count down the final minute. She loved it. 

Jalen fell asleep hours before.

We tried to wake him up, but he wasn't having any of it. He drank his sparkling cider for breakfast the next morning.

We were all ready with cider, noise makers and confetti shooters.

I spent New Year's day sick on the couch, watching football. We didn't even turn the lights on. I coughed so hard that I had a migraine and my rib muscles were irritated again. (I spent the night in the ER the week before Christmas, thinking I was having a heart attack, but it was just pulled muscles in my rib cage.) My chest ached and I was afraid I was getting pneumonia again. I even had sore neck muscles from the coughing. It was a pretty low key day for all of us.

Fortunately, I took some awesome pain killers (left over from my night in the emergency room) and felt much better this morning. We all headed for Rock Hill this afternoon. David had to change offices and we had been invited for a traditional Japanese New Year's dinner at the home of two of his colleagues.

Winthrop is such a beautiful school. (Although, I have to confess that the music school is pretty run down and has a very funky smell. Apparently, there is a lot of mold.)

This semester, David gets a corner office. Woot-woot! It's the office of the professor he is covering for who is going on sabbatical. She and her husband are the ones that invited us for dinner. They hired David and have been amazingly kind to him. Actually, everyone he has worked with has been fantastic.

Pretty fancy for an adjunct.

Move over Beethoven.

This cool tree is shaped like a W.

Winthrop was originally a women's only teacher's college. (Baylie's kindergarten teacher went here.) There was a time when at the beginning of the year they'd line up all the female students and have them walk down Scholars Walk. They'd continue off the campus past beautiful homes and churches. This was so they could each choose a church where they would worship while at Winthrop.

Cool clock.

Scholars Walk

Baylie met a friend who was reading a book.

Another view of Scholars Walk.

Afterwards, we went to a local park to take some pictures of Baylie for her baptism announcements. (She's getting baptized in March.) We just got her beautiful dress in the mail and she couldn't wait to try it on again. I must say that our little girl is incredibly photogenic. Here are some of my favorites.

Jalen photobomb

Then we went to another park with a cool fountain. The kids threw coins in the fountain. 

After that, we went to Ron and Tomoko's for dinner. Tomoko is from Kobe and she made us a meal that is traditionally eaten at New Year's. We weren't sure how the kids would do with the exotic food, but they loved it. The different foods have different symbolism.

This includes bamboo shoots, lotus root and other stuff I can't remember.

This was sweet potato with chestnuts (my personal favorites), black beans that had amazing flavor, sardines and red/white fish cakes.

Baylie loved the sardines.

The sushi rice was also amazing, as was the fried chicken that I didn't get a picture of.

Happy eaters. Even the kids used chop sticks. Notice the bowls with tangyuan - an incredibly sticky rice ball thing. It was one of the strangest things I've ever eaten, but was tasty.

This is Ron and Kotone, their daughter. She's an amazing artist.

It was such a great beginning for the new year. I feel like this year is full of promise for our little family.