Thoughts on Mother's Day

A special thanks to whomever gave me this beautiful picture as an anonymous gift today. It was incredibly thoughtful and unexpected. It made me cry - in a good way.

For most of my adult life, I have hated Mother's Day. I fully admit that these feelings have been very selfish on my part because I have been blessed with the best of mothers. My mother is the archetype of the perfect mother, always putting her children's needs ahead of her own and selflessly serving others throughout her life. My mother has never met a stranger. She makes life-long friends in line at the grocery store. She has a green thumb. Plants and flowers flourish wherever she plants them. She loves nothing more than reading to her grandchildren. She has a beautiful singing voice. She gave birth to five children and stayed skinny. She still has a great set of legs. I have always wanted to be more like her. I am so grateful to be her daughter.

I also had a wonderful Granny who would have me sleep over on Fridays and make me quesadillas and bread with butter and sugar. She let me take long showers followed by long baths. She let me wear her silky nightgowns. She always made me feel special, like I was her favorite. I miss her when I travel because I know she would have loved to go with me.

My Grandma was a paradox. On the one hand, she could have been the illustration in a story book with jet black hair, rosy cheeks, a round body and always bustling around her kitchen. I always think of her when I hear "Over the River and Through the Woods." On the other hand, I can still smell her basement where we used to sleep, surrounded by exotic memoirs of her world travels. She had a swordfish hanging over her kitchen sink that she had caught herself. I think I get my sense of adventure from her.

There are other women who have touched my life in positive, memorable ways. So why have I hated Mother's Day? Perhaps it's obvious. I spent most of my adult life single. And then when I finally married, I was barren. Last year was my first "real" Mother's Day. This year I still feel a little odd because while I'm so happy for myself and so grateful to be a mother, I can't help but think of women for whom today is still very hard. I think of women who have never married; those who have married, but can't have children; those who have children, but lose them far too young. I think of children who don't have loving memories of a mother because of death, abuse or neglect.

But more than anything else, today I am thinking of one very special mother who chose to take her little baby girl and give her to me. I have been thinking about her all week. I hope she is okay. I hope she isn't hurting. I hope she knows the little girl we share is doing well and is happy. I hope she has a Happy Mother's Day. And although I've never met her, I hope she knows how very much I love her.