What to Do While You Wait for Your Parents to Wake Up - by JWB

My dad decided to sleep in until 7:00 a.m. So while I waited for him, I decided to do the following:

• Bulldoze over the baby gate in order to get into the kitchen.
• Get the box of Frosted Mini Wheats (that Mom foolishly left on the low shelf) and pull out the bag, go to the table and consume a large portion.
• Climb on a chair, onto the table and onto the kitchen counter to walk over the stove, balance on the edge of the sink and get to the medicine counter located high over the kitchen sink. Open the childproof lid to the Infant Advil and pour myself a shot into the plastic cup provided. Unfortunately there was only a small cupful left. I then cleaned up after myself by putting the medicine bottle in the dish drainer and the plastic cup in the sink.
• Next I climbed the rest of the way over the sink to get to the cookie jar and pull out a package of apple cider, tore it open and dumped it onto the kitchen floor (close to the trash can - I did try to keep things clean).
• I then climbed back to the table, moved a chair over to the craft area and got down the bubbles. I dumped the bubbles out on the floor and on the desk next to Mommy's computer. I took a bamboo skewer from the craft area to Mommy and Daddy's bathroom for some secret purpose, which I choose not to reveal at this time.
• I climbed up on the bathroom counter, opened Dad's expensive eczema cream, smeared it on my face and tried to shave with dad's razor.
• Last of all I used mom's pill dispenser as a maraca. Unfortunately, I could not get it open so I had to settle for eating the vitamins mom set out for me and Baylie.

Dad thinks I should be starved into submission, but I think Mom has convinced him that it is not an appropriate punishment. They are both at their wits end about what to do with me.

My sister is so boring. While I was having so much fun, she was quietly looking at photo albums in her bed.

P.S. This morning was way more fun than yesterday afternoon when I ate an entire bottle of Mentos gum, ate Baylie's cookies, and caused what now looks like minor mischief while Baylie and Mommy took a nap.