The One That Got Away

Baylie's feet

I had a miscarriage when David and I were first married. I was only eight weeks pregnant. (And I think we had only been married nine.) To date it is the hardest thing I've ever been through - physically or emotionally. My sister and two of my sisters-in-law were pregnant at the same time. We were all due within five weeks of each other. It was hard to watch them progress through their pregnancies after I was no longer pregnant.

It is not something I think about often. I know some women continue mourning their infertility even after they adopt, but that has not been the case with me. Once we adopted Baylie, I lost any desire to have a biological child. I don't mourn the fact that I never gave birth.

However, from time to time there is a milestone that brings the memory of this lost child to my mind. Today my niece, Molly, turned 12. In the next couple of weeks, my nephews Kolton and Cameron will follow. It's hard to believe they have grown up so fast. It's even harder to realize that had our baby lived he/she would be 12 as well. This is a milestone birthday in our religion. At 12, a young man receives the priesthood and a young woman leaves the Primary and joins the Young Women.

It doesn't make me sad to think about this. But it does cause me to reflect on what might have been.

Much Ado About Nothing

We've been busy doing a lot of ordinary stuff. I decided I should just do a catch up post with a lot of these little things. So here they are in no particular order.

The kids received gift cards for Christmas - $10 each. So I took them to Wal Mart to spend them. They were so excited. Baylie was quite the smart shopper and got a set of six princess dolls on clearance for $5 and a pony set for $3 plus two boxes of candy. Jalen just went straight for the super heroes. He didn't have a Thor action figure, so that's what he chose. Instead of candy, he chose a box of Cheez-It (my kind of kid!).

It was all great until I got to checkout and was advised that there was no money left on the gift cards. I couldn't figure out what was going on. When I got home, I looked them up only to remember that I had used them to buy headphones for the kids to use on the airplane for our flight to Utah for New Years. Whoops! (Why didn't I throw them away??) I was grateful it was only $20.

At some point, we had snow. Yep, that's about the extent of it. It was cold though.

Baylie's first grade class collected cans for a local food bank and then they went to deliver them on a Saturday. It was really great that they were able to participate in the delivery and not just the collection. They got a little tour of the place and were better able to understand where their cans would go and who they would help.

Baylie's backpack was getting gross, so I washed it. It looked great. Then I dried it. It looked awful. I melted it! I was so bummed because I had hoped this backpack would last her throughout elementary school. It was a great bag. She was pretty disappointed when she saw it.

I posted about it on facebook and one of my sweet friends ordered her a new one and had it delivered. It's super cute and GLITTERY. Baylie was so happy. Not only that, she sent a backpack for Jalen. Spiderman! I made him save it for kindergarten.

We had two very happy kids around here.

We babysat a dog for a couple of days. It was a golden doodle - part golden retriever, part poodle. It was HUGE! But very gentle.

The kids were in heaven and loved the dog.

Jalen spent all day outside playing with him.

This gives you an idea of how big he is.

After he was gone, David and I looked at each other and realized that as much as we enjoyed him for a couple of days, we were not ready for a dog.

The first graders at Baylie's school did a great program for Black History Month. To see Baylie's parts of the program, go here (she is on the back row on the right side just at the edge of the display on the screen), and here and here (you can barely see her on the right side under the stage). It was a great little program. There was one class that did a very moving tribute to Ruby Bridges. I hadn't realized that she was only a first grader - the same age as Baylie. I can't imagine sending her to school with people throwing things at her and yelling ugly things at her, having her sit in a classroom all by herself. It really hit home and I found myself bawling.

Last week was Seuss week. The kids dressed up differently each day. On Friday, they dressed up as their favorite Seuss character. We chose Cat in the Hat.

I made stocking caps for David, Baylie and Jalen.

I am so super excited to have new couch pillows. The previous pillows were gross and I hated them.

Now I love walking into the room and seeing these pillows. They brighten up the whole room and are very comfy.

I took the stuffing from the old pillows and used them to make giant t.v. pillows out of flannel baby blankets I had made for the kids. The kids love them.

And I think that catches us up!