Updates

First, THANKS to all the veterans who have served our country.

Second, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD! I love you.

Third, Baylie is having FUN with Thanksgiving projects.

Fourth, Jalen continues to eat us out of house and home. The boy is HUMONGOUS!

Here are his latest stats as of today (9 months, 3 weeks).

Height - 28 1/2 inches (37%)

Weight - 27 lbs. 12 oz. (98%)

Head - 18 1/2 inches (83%)

(Guess he thinks mom's body type is the best.)

I'm trying to get him into the football groove early. So far, he just eats that too.

Fifth, Baylie and Jalen both got flu shots.

Time Jalen cried about it: 2.5 seconds

Time Baylie cried about it: 60 minutes

Adoption Financing - Update

After we adopted Baylie, I did a post on adoption financing. A lot of things have changed since then, so I thought I'd post an update on how the finances broke down for Jalen's adoption. He was born in Virginia, so we had travel expenses with him that we did not have with Baylie. We were fortunate to have friends in the area or our expenses would have been higher. We were in the Virginia area for two weeks before coming home. (The length of time you spend out of state is not up to you, it's up to the local government who must clear you to leave.)

This is primarily information for couples considering adoption since it is sometimes hard to get specifics. Of course, every adoption is different, but this will give you a rough idea.

Costs

• Home Study Update - $300 (this needs to be done each year, otherwise you have to get a new home study, which is usually $800-$1,000)
• Physical exams - $60
• Criminal background checks - $20
• Placement fee - $18,500 (we didn’t have a separate match fee because it happened so quickly)
• Hotel – $618
• Flights – $870 (I worked for an airline, so we flew standby going home, which saved a lot of money)
• Baggage fees - $95
• Car rental - $437
• Parking - $56
• Miscellaneous travel expenses (food, gas, etc.) - $750
• Phone (above regular bill) - $159
• Attorney fees - $836.50 (our attorney has a goal to keep adoptions under $1,000.00)
• Postage - $34 (this doesn’t inclue the pictures we send to the birthmom each month)
• Post placement visits - $300 (two visits)
• Gift for birth mother - $200
• Nursery bill - $392
• Copies of adoption decree - $30
• Birth certificates - $70

The exact total for Jalen’s adoption was $24,506. This is comparable to what other couples have paid for their agency adoptions, although some pay much more.

Financial Assistance

• Adoption Tax Credit – This has recently undergone a wonderful change for couples wanting to adopt. The credit is now refundable, meaning that you get the amount in a lump sum whether or not you paid that amount in taxes. Currently the amount is adoption expenses up to $13,170. It is also retroactive, so if you adopted in the past five years it might also apply. The current plan applies if you adopt through June 2011 and finalize before the end of the year 2011. After that, the law may undergo another change. (To the insensitive soul who informed me people only adopt to get money, that still leaves us over $11,000 in the hole for Jalen’s adoption and over $12,000 for Baylie's. I want to slap you.) Be sure to hire a good adoption tax expert. It’s worth it.

• State Adoption Indemnity - Some states allow an insurance reimbursement when you adopt. This only applies if you have an insurance program for which you pay directly. It does not apply if your insurance is paid for by an employer and deducted from your salary.

• Employer Adoption Programs - Many companies have an adoption reimbursement policy.
  
  
• Grants/Loans – There are several adoption grants and loans, but I have yet to meet or hear of anyone that actually received one. We spent $45 for six different programs, but didn’t receive assistance from any of them.
  
  
• Home Equity Loans - One of the most common methods for financing adoption is through home equity loans.
  
  
• Retirement Accounts - If you decide to cash in a 401K in order to finance an adoption, any penalties that would be applied may actually be covered by the adoption tax credit.

For us, we found it best to come up with the money on our own. We were greatly supported by family and would not have been able to adopt without them. We also sold our second car and had three different yard/bake sales.

Unless you’re able to find a birthmom on your own or are able to adopt through LDS Family Services, adoption is going to be expensive. But it’s worth every last penny!

Batchelors do Disney

Thanks to my sister-in-law Shanelle, we totally rocked in the costume department this year. We celebrated today with Music Makers in the morning and a church party in the evening. I love doing the church Trunk or Treat because it saves us from having to go door to door to people we don't know.

Jalen was a less than enthusiastic (but totally adorable) Mickey Mouse.

He got used to the costume eventually.

Baylie loved being a beautiful little Snow White.

For the church party, we stuck to the theme. David took on the role of Walt himself and I was the princess castle (think low effort).

I love Baylie's pose in this picture.

We had a fun-filled, but exhausting day.

P.S. Baylie has already stuck at least one M&M up her nose...

Pumpkin Carving

We went to a pumpkin patch, but I forgot my camera - and the pumpkins were ridiculously expensive. Our pumpkins are from Wal Mart.

As you can see, David likes to carve pumpkins...

...apparently so does Jalen.

Although Baylie looks less than enthused, she had fun too. It was a bit of a power struggle between her and her daddy to decide who was going to draw on the pumpkin - they both did. Hers was in green highlighter, so it didn't show up.

Baylie and her daddy had lots of fun making cupcakes. (We had to make them because I accidentally dropped the free one she got at Wal Mart in our parking lot.)

Jalen also likes cupcakes, mixed with carrots.

I just had to throw in this one because we took Baylie's hair out of braids tonight and the result is always an awesome head of hair.

For Tiffani who asks when I find time to blog: it's 11:09 p.m. and I'm watching Season 4 of 24 on Netflix.

When Things Don't Go As Planned

This was us 15 minutes before time to go to church.

Everyone was dressed, happy, ready to go.

I made the mistake of mentally congratulating myself on how "together" we were for once. Just then, I got an e-mail asking for help. I spent 20 minutes trying to find someone else who could help, but it didn't work out. Things went downhill from there.

• I dropped off David and the kids at Church, upon which David realized he was still wearing his slippers instead of his Sunday shoes.
• What could be worse? There was a hole in the toe of one of his socks.
• What could be worse? He was playing the organ that day in church and would have to go up in front of everyone.
• What could be worse? He was also singing with the choir that day.
• What could be worse? We were both assigned to speak.
• What could be worse? I got back to church five minutes late and had to march in with David's huge shoes in hand.
• What could be worse? My family was sitting on the very front row.
• What could be worse? Just as I stood up to speak, we discovered that Baylie had peed clear through her dress and onto the bench.

What could be worse? Actually, nothing, things got a little better after that.

The Joy of Open Adoption

Back in May, we traveled to Virginia to see Jalen's birthmom. It didn't work out and we weren't able to see her. At that time, I figured we wouldn't try to visit her again. But in my heart, it just didn't feel right. I didn't feel like it was fair to her or to Jalen. David had fall break this weekend so we asked L if she would like to meet with us. She was excited at the opportunity, so we drove the five hours to Roanoke to see her. It's a beautiful drive and the time went quickly. (Ironically, it is much cheaper for us to drive and see her than it would have been for us to fly and see her if we had gone to school somewhere else.)

From the time he woke up in the morning, it seemed like Jalen knew something was happening. He was really excited and couldn't contain himself - kicking and squirming and squealing. Jalen doesn't normally take to strangers. He keeps a very straight face and stares them down. Sometimes it's a little embarrassing. But he took to L from the very beginning. He knew she was someone special.

We were also able to meet Jalen's biological sister. She and Baylie got along really well. We spent a lot of time trying to explain to Baylie that L was Jalen's birth mom and had carried him in her tummy. We've been trying to explain to her about her own birth mother. I'm not sure if she is understanding or not, but we hope this early exposure will make it a normal and natural thing for her. I only regret that she can't meet her birth mother since V wanted a closed adoption.

Jalen's biological sister, J, has heard all about him and looks at the pictures we send to her mom.

It meant a lot to us to have L tell us that she is happy with her decision and knows she made the right choice. Her family has not been very supportive and I think she is a strong woman to have made the choice and to stand by it. We learned a little more about his birth father, but he's still not happy about the adoption, so we won't be able to meet him for now. We learned that he is short, stocky and has a gap in his front teeth - just like Jalen!

We also learned that she had looked at other couples before us, but never felt right about it. She said that once she met us, she knew we were the right family for Jalen. I told her that him joining our family was truly a miracle for us.

I wasn't sure what this visit would be like, but it couldn't have been better. It was really wonderful for all of us. I look forward to future visits and am so happy that Jalen will know his birth family. What a blessing.

These next pictures are my favorites.

Pumpkins by Picasso

I was trying to find a fun Halloween craft for Baylie to do. Most of them were a little too advanced for her, so I decided to create my own. I cut out black eyes, nose and mouth and had her paste them onto orange paper. It seemed pretty simple.

Here are her creations.

LOVE THEM!