The Incredible Hulk

Jalen's stats at six months

Height: 27 1/4 inches (73%)

Weight: 22 lbs. 12 oz. (98%)

Head: 18.4 inches (98%)

Finally Finalized!

I think that perhaps, like me, every adoptive mother has a secret scary place in the back of her mind where the fear of a failed adoption lurks. I'd think I was crazy if it weren't for a few of my friends who have had to visit that scary place, and some have come back childless.

So a day like today brightens the very darkest shadows of my mind, cleans out any cobwebs and reminds me that God is good, He loves me, and He has blessed me more than I can ever repay. Today little Jalen William Batchelor is officially our son - MY SON.

I started to cry when the judge asked if birth parental rights had been terminated and cried pretty much from there to the end. Our judge was amazing. I wish every adoptive parent had the opportunity to appear in his court. He was so personable - and personal. He even noted that our adoption cost more than our annual income (um, yeah). He talked to Baylie, he let her and Jalen and my niece Ava take turns wearing his robes and holding his gavel. He talked about the social significance of transracial adoption and alluded to some of the challenges we might face.

I was particularly touched that he spent a moment talking about Jalen's birthmother, L. He talked about her choice. The fact that she chose to have him - not abort him - and then chose adoption with the hope it would give him a better life. I appreciated him making sure that those thoughts were in the official adoption record.

He gave us a paper with thoughts on adoption, part of which states, "The adoption process, because the consequences are so far-reaching, requires "tremendous inspiration and courageous faith... The human spirit is divinely resilient, and (developing a relationship of) abiding love" offers limitless security ... This is a historic day for you and your family. On behalf of our community, our state and our country, I express a simple gratitude to you for your dedication to this most important adventure and sojourn."

I can never fully express the gratitude I have for all the people who have made our adoptions possible - my parents - without whom we couldn't have even started the process, my siblings and their families for the unconditional love they give to my children, our social worker who has become a true friend, and most of all the birth mothers who sacrificed their bodies, their blood and a lifetime of joy with these children so they could be mine. I am truly humbled by the miracles that have made us a family.

Baylie takes over the gavel

And now, a few words from Jalen.

South African Style

My brother and his wife brought Baylie and Jalen these awesome outfits from South Africa. One of the young women from church did Baylie's head dress.

Illegal Immigration

There is a lot of debate in Utah right now related to a list of purported illegal immigrants that has been released publicly. The list includes names, birthdays, social security numbers, addresses, due dates of pregnant women, etc. I find this upsetting on so many levels. Even more upsetting are the comments made on the message boards. I love the state of Utah, but I'm so embarrassed to read some of these comments, especially those made in the name of religion. The only thing I can compare it to is Nazi Germany where neighbors spied on each other and informed the government.

I agree there is a serious problem with illegal immigration. I think it begins with a serious flaw in our immigration process. Those who want to immigrate legally are faced with unbelievable and in many cases unreasonable hurdles. I have friends from other countries who have married Americans and had to wait years just to get residency. I have other friends in the country illegally. Most are hard working individuals who contribute to our society, but can't afford the immigration process, which is extremely expensive. Some abuse the system. And I agree that illegal immigrants shouldn't be able to suck the lifeblood from programs like Medicaid. I also think that immigrants should learn English. However, I don't think that putting their safety at risk by publishing their private information is an ethical solution to the problem.

I'm especially upset that the only names on the list are of Hispanic origin. We have illegal immigrants from Europe, Africa, Asia, etc., so why are only Latinos being targeted? Because it's a racist and bigoted list.

I guess we better scratch out the quote found on the statue of liberty:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Chubba, Chubba

When Baylie turned one, she weighed 21.8 lbs. That meant she was ready to graduate to a forward facing car seat. It was perfect timing since she needed to be one before she could face forward anyway.

Then there is our humongous little boy Jalen. Today we went to the doctor and found out that at 5 1/2 months, he weighs 21.6 lbs. He will need a new car seat in .4 lbs. I had hoped that Baylie would be in a booster before Jalen needed a new seat, but that's not going to happen. So now I ask you:

• Where can I find a safe forward facing car seat that doesn't require that the child be three and that costs less than an arm and a leg? (We're giving Jalen Baylie's seat and need a new seat for Baylie.)
  
  
• How do I grocery shop with a child that can't fit in a portable car seat, but can't yet sit up in the basket of the cart?
  
  
• How does a child spit up so much and still get so huge?
  
  
• When should I start sending out recruiting film to colleges?

With Six You Get Eggroll

When I was younger, I wanted four children - three boys and a girl, in that order. I have counted myself lucky to finally have the two children I do. Well last week, I got somewhat of a taste of what I thought I wanted. My brother and his wife were at the World Cup in South Africa (I know!!) and I got to watch their four boys for a week. They are aged 9, 7, 4 and 2 - plus my two year old and five month old. I have a new-found respect for anyone that has more than two kids - and I'm amazed by people that have six or more. Once again, the Lord knew what he was doing when he only let me have two. That's all I can handle!

My sister-in-law is one of the kindest people I know and consequently her children are also kind and sweet. But they are very energetic! Baylie was in heaven with four in-home playmates and we had a great time all week. I can't even think about moving and leaving them behind because it makes me cry.

Speaking of moving, we have our new address, so if you're someone that needs it, send me your e-mail and I'll send it to you.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!