Flying With Kids

Update: This post is geared more towards traveling with small children. For travel with older children, go HERE.

I often complain that we don’t travel anymore. But then, when I stop to think about it, we actually travel a lot. We just don’t go international very much anymore. My kids have been flying pretty much since birth. Fortunately, they are great travelers.

I am often asked for tips about traveling with kids. I thought I would create a blog post that I could use as a reference. I’ll be updating this post as I think of things to add. Obviously, these are just my opinions. Please send me any suggestions you might have.

Few things change as frequently as airline policies. You should always check an airline’s website or call them directly to verify the current policy. Policies can also vary from carrier to carrier. This information is intended for customers originating in the United States.

Airfare

Domestic - Children under two traveling within the United States do not need to buy a ticket. Children over two must buy a ticket and have their own seat regardless of where they are traveling. It is very rare that airlines give discounts to children over two traveling within the United States.

International - Children traveling internationally must have a ticket, even if they are under two and riding on a parent’s lap. Some international markets have discounted fares for children under 12. Most international markets require an infant under two to pay a fare even if they are on their parent’s lap. In some cases, this is just taxes, but in other cases it can be a percentage of the adult fare and can be expensive. In the latter case, it is important to buy the ticket when you buy the adult ticket. If you wait until the last minute, you could be paying 10% of the current adult fare, which is almost always much more expensive at the last minute than when booked in advance. 

When looking at airfare, remember to verify if an airline charges for baggage. Sometimes an airline may have a higher airfare, but charge less or nothing for bags. This is especially important when traveling with children. I’ll talk more about baggage below.

You should also verify the change fees for your ticket. These can be quite costly. Southwest Airlines doesn't charge for bags or to change a reservation, which is great when traveling with children.

Travel Documents

Children under the age of 18 do not require a photo ID to travel within the United States. Children traveling internationally require a passport, regardless of how old they are. Just like adults, they may also require a visa. Another very important thing to remember is that if a child is traveling internationally with only one parent, a letter of permission may be required from the non-traveling parent. You should always check with the airline when this is the case.

Seat Assignments

Most airlines allow you to request seat assignments in advance of travel, although many now charge for this. You should always request seat assignments when possible. If a flight is overbooked, you will seldom get bumped if you reserve a seat, check in on time, and board the flight when called. (There is an exception to this when an aircraft is changed and the new airplane is a different size than the original one, but this does not happen often.) In 99% of cases, passengers who get bumped do not have seat assignments. If you do not have a seat assignment, check in as early as possible to try and get a seat assignment at that time. If the airline does not assign seats at check-in, arrive at the airport with plenty of time. Keep in mind that without a seat assignment, it is not guaranteed that you will be seated by your child. The flight attendants usually try to assist with this on board, but it is not a guarantee.

If you are traveling with a lap child (a child under two without a seat assignment) and two adults, it’s a good idea to request an aisle and a window, leaving the middle open. Solo middle seats are the last to be requested and you might get lucky and have the middle seat available when you fly. If the middle seat does end up being assigned, the person in the middle will probably be happy to trade with one of you to get a window or an aisle, allowing you to still sit together.

If there is only one adult, I would recommend the window seat for short flights and the aisle seat for long flights. Sitting in the window means you won’t have to get up if another passenger wants to get out. It also lets you lean against the window to sleep. Sitting in the aisle lets you get up and walk around or take a child to the bathroom. Now that my kids are older, I usually try and get them in the window and me in the aisle. They like to look out the window and it prevents them from dropping things or hanging limbs into the aisle.

I prefer to request seats in the back of the airplane. Most airlines allow families with children to board near the beginning of the boarding process. Those that don’t will usually board people in the rear of the aircraft first. Regardless of how they board, if you’re seated in the back, you have more time to get settled and you’re not blocking other passengers from getting past you to board. I also like to be among the last to get off the plane so we’re not blocking people and don’t feel rushed. I also like the back because it’s closer to the bathroom.

If you are flying an airline that doesn’t do advanced seat assignments (i.e. Southwest), you can still board near the beginning when traveling with children. Also, Southwest lets you board near the beginning if you check in online. (I recommend checking in online regardless of which airline you fly.)

The one exception to flying in the back is if you are flying on a large aircraft that offers basinets, usually only on long international flights. Basinets are offered free of charge and are for infants below a specific weight. They snap into the bulkhead wall in front of the adult. These are limited, so you can make a request, but it can’t be confirmed until you actually check in at the airport. It is really convenient if you happen to get one.

Baggage

Unfortunately, most airlines now charge for baggage on domestic flights. Most international flights allow at least one free bag. Currently, Southwest does not charge for two checked bags per person.

Most airlines that charge for baggage will let you check a stroller OR a car seat free of charge. You can also carry on a stroller or a car seat. How you decide to do this is up to you, but I have some recommendations based on the age of the child.

• Infants – I would recommend taking the stroller and car seat through security. If you are able to get a seat for your child, you can use the car seat and gate check the stroller. If you can’t get a seat, you can gate check both. I have never seen anyone charged for this, but it is possible that the airline would charge for one since technically only one is allowed free of charge. One way to avoid this would be to use an umbrella stroller since it could be carried onboard.
  
  
• Toddlers and Older Children – I would recommend checking the car seat at the baggage counter and keeping the stroller. It is really handy to have a stroller when going through the airport, plus it can help with the hand baggage. It’s also a good way to contain a wandering child. You can gate check the stroller free of charge prior to boarding the aircraft.

A diaper bag does not count as carry-on baggage, so you can have a diaper bag and a car seat and still carry on a suitcase. Just remember that somehow you have to get yourself, your child, the diaper bag, the car seat and the carry-on bag on board and to your seat. It’s not easy. When it comes to carry-on – LESS IS MORE.

Getting Through Security

This is one of the most stressful parts of travel. Keeping track of bags, strollers, kids and shoes while dealing with impatient passengers and TSA employees is not the best part of the trip. Planning in advance and being organized really helps with this.

Some airports have a separate security line for families traveling with children. It’s at the same place as regular security, but the line is usually shorter and does not wind around as much. I wish all airports had this!

Strollers and car seats must go through the conveyer belt. Blankets, toys, etc. must also go through the belt. I find that it works best if I talk to my kids about this in advance and let them help put things in the bins and on the belt.

Security regulations do not allow you to go through airport security with liquids or gels that are over 3.4 oz. (see tsa.gov for complete information). Liquids and gels are things like diaper ointment, lotion, hand sanitizer, lip gloss, etc. Any liquids or gels need to be placed in a quart-size zip lock bag. There are some exceptions. Medication (prescription or over-the-counter) can be bigger and you can take through baby food, a baby bottle or a sippy cup with liquid. These items will have to go through an additional screening process. Having them together in an easy-to-access location will help things go more smoothly. Once you’re on the other side of security, these limitations don’t apply. Now that my kids are older, I take an empty water bottle and then fill it after we’ve gone through security. If checking a bag, put anything that you don’t absolutely need while flying in the checked bag. Then you don’t have to worry about it during the security process.

Laptops and video cameras have to come out of your bag when going through the x-ray. Small DVD players and cameras do not.

Currently children under 12 do not have to take their shoes off when going through security. Children that can walk must go through the x-ray by themselves.

Packing

I send everything I can in the checked bag. When you’re traveling with children, it’s easier to have fewer bags to worry about. Once kids get older, you can start carrying on bags again since they can be responsible for their own stuff. I try to fit me and my kids in the same checked bag because even if I’m not dealing with all the baggage on the flight, eventually I will be.

My kids like to have their own bag to pull. Currently Baylie’s princess bag needs a new wheel, so they are sharing a carry-on. These are the items I put in their carry-on bag(s).

• Portable DVD Player or iPad
• Headphones (with a splitter so they can both have their own headphones)
• Movies
• Entertainment items (more info below)
• Change of clothes and underwear (in case of spill or accident, plus you never know when a flight will get cancelled or there will be a weather delay)
• Small blanket (you can no longer get blankets on most airplanes – plus they’re gross)

I also carry a backpack. (I have to note here that I LOVE my backpack. It has been around the world and back with me for the past 20 years.) This is what I carry in my backpack.

• Wipes (children are never too old for wipes)
• Book for me
• Change of underwear for me (you never know when a flight will get cancelled and you’ll be stuck)
• Phone
• Chargers (I also have an adapter that lets me plug in three things from one outlet)
• Camera
• Wallet
• Tickets/IDs
• All the liquids and gels in the quart-size bag for security
• Snacks (more on snacks below)
• Earplugs (for me and the kids)

Entertainment

As with all carry-on baggage, less is more. You don’t want to be stressing out about lost toys or missing pieces. Plus, many times kids will end up sleeping on the flight.

Our most important travel tool is our portable DVD player. (Update: now we use an iPad.) The kids can watch movies on the plane and I try to recharge the player while in the terminal. Some aircraft, but not all, have on-board entertainment. You have to be careful with this because sometimes, especially lately, what the airlines consider family-friendly entertainment is not the kind of thing I want my kids to watch.

Here are the additional things we typically bring for entertainment.

• Notebook or coloring book
• Colored pencils (I prefer to travel with pencils rather than crayons)
• One or two small toys per child (not something that would be traumatic if lost)
• Cards or small travel game
• Pillow Pets (these are a new additions and I really love having them)

Snacks and Beverages

Airlines no longer offer free food and airport food is very expensive. I travel with snacks (usually crackers or cereal) in zip lock bags with each kid’s initials on them. As mentioned above, I carry empty water bottles in a large zip lock. I can either fill them with water or the flight attendant will fill them with a beverage when offering the onboard service. It’s much easier than trying to prevent a spill from a plastic airline cup. Keeping the bottles in a gallon zip lock prevents them from leaking inside the carry-on bag once they have been filled. Favorite snacks for us are popcorn, cereal, poptarts, granola bars, etc. I have also made sandwiches.

A few special treats are great to have on hand in case you need to manage an emotional breakdown or temper tantrum (yours or the child’s).

Additional Tips

Ziploc bags - Ziplocs are your friends. Ziplocs help with organization and can help prevent leaking or spills. They are also great in case there is a potty accident. (I must confess at this point that one time I just threw away the messy pajamas because they weren’t worth trying to save.)

Leashes - I am a fan. My kids were runners.

Baby Bjorns, etc. - Also a fan of these. Some airlines won't let you have the child in the bjorn while taking off and landing, but you can always use it while in flight. I think it's safer, plus it allows you to snooze.

Pajamas - My kids almost always start or end in pajamas, changing clothes in our connection city. If you’re going to depart or arrive really early or really late, it’s easier and more comfortable to travel in jammies.

Kid-friendly airports - If you have a choice of connection points, look for family-friendly airports. Some airports have play areas for children. This is such a great thing for burning off energy without annoying other travelers. It’s a great break for kids and parents. (Although harder to verify, some airports are just designed in a way that is better for kids when it comes to eating facilities, changing terminals, family restrooms, seating areas, etc.) If you do an internet search for "family friendly airports", you can get a lot of information.

Plan on everything taking longer. If possible, avoid short connection times since it will be stressful for you and your kids. You want plenty of time to go potty, eat, change clothes, stretch, etc. Advanced planning and organization will help both you and your kids.

Talk to your kids – Explain what’s going to happen and what is happening. Traveling can be confusing to kids and they do better if they know what to expect.

Last, but not least, is to be considerate of other travelers. You will see the best and worst of people when you travel with children. Some people are just intolerant, but some parents and their children are obnoxious. Being conscientious of this makes it easier for everyone.

I hope this information will prove helpful. I’d love to hear other people’s advice and travel stories.

What the Travon Martin Case Means to Me

I don't know Trayvon Martin or George Zimmerman. Odds are, neither do you. Trayvon Martin may have been a punk. George Zimmerman was found innocent. Maybe he was. Or maybe his aquittal is a reflection of a warped law or a poor legal team. I don't know. I wasn't there. I think they probably both made mistakes. Neither one of them was perfect that night. That being said, I have some questions.

• Why did Zimmerman get out of his car?
• If he felt threatened when the teenager looked at him or came toward his vehicle, why didn't he drive away? He was already on the phone with 911 and had reported his concern.
• When the 911 operator told him not to pursue the teenager, why did he? What outcome was he expecting?
• If a teenager feels that he's being threatened, doesn't he have the right to try and flee, or as a last recourse, turn and defend  himself? 
• If a teenager is confronted in this type of situation, shouldn't he be able to punch his assailant and do anything possible to defend himself?
• If Trayvon Martin were a white teenager and George Zimmerman were a black adult, would the result have been the same? Would the gunman have been allowed to go free until public outcry demanded a trial? Or would he have been immediately thrown in jail?
• How do I teach my son to act in this situation? Previous to this, I would tell him to walk away. I would also teach him to defend himself if necessary. What do I teach him now? 
• Do I have to worry about how my son dresses, even if it's not anything out of the ordinary? No hoodies? No dark clothing? No hair nets? Nothing too "ghetto"? 
• What if he's a typical teenage boy and behaves like a punk sometimes? Will I have to fear not only that he'll get in trouble, but that  he also might end up dead?

I am the mother of a black son. And today, I am afraid for him. 

Baylie Loses Her First Tooth

What I Learned in Sacrament Meeting

I love my kids. They make my life worthwhile. That being said, motherhood has put a serious wrench in my spiritual studies. That's not to say I'm less spiritual since becoming a mom, on the contrary. But trying to study my scriptures, have meaningful prayer and listen in sacrament meeting have become significantly more difficult since the arrival of children.

Like many moms, I wonder why I even go to sacrament meeting half the time. By the time the meeting is over, I feel like I've been in a wrestling match. So today, instead of getting frustrated, I decided to make a list of some of the things my kids said to me during the meeting. Most of these were said during the passing of the sacrament, which is supposed to be the most sacred part of the meeting.

• When does soccer start?
• I like your necklace.
• How long 'til church is over?
• You have boobs, I have pecs.
• What are we doing when we get home?
• I just want to go to nursery.
• Is Church almost over?
• Can I get bread?
• Can I get water?
• Can I do my puzzle now?
• Can I read this book and still think about Jesus?
• Is Church almost over?
• Mom, are you okay?
• Mystery solved!
• Is Church almost over?
• Is Jalen asleep? (me: no, he's just tired) Me too, but it's just a song, a prayer and we're done! (me: hallelujah!)

Just for the record, the talks were good and I even heard most of them.

Diary of a Hair Day - Revisited

Three and a half years ago, I posted HERE about a typical hair day. I loved re-reading this blog and remembering what an adorable, fun and amazing little girl Baylie was and is. Man, time has flown by. A lot has happened since then and I have learned a lot about doing her hair. I continue to learn. I am so grateful for the Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Care blog. It has taught me so much and has helped make hair days bearable for me and Baylie. I thought I'd post about what a typical hair day is like for us now.

I am often asked how long Baylie's hair is. I think that sometimes when I do extensions in her hair, people think that I exaggerate her length. Usually I use her longest section to use as a guide for the rest since I want it to be all one length. Here is a picture that shows her hair when it's brushed out and how long it actually is. Surprising, huh?! 

Here are my current favorite tools. I usually start by washing her hair with conditioner. We don't use shampoo on the kids' hair. I am currently using Aussie 3-Minute Miracle. After her hair is washed, I brush it section by section. This involves spraying it with distilled water and coconut oil and coating it with a detangler/moisturizer. I use a Tangle Teaser to brush it, and once the knots are out, I comb through it. This time her hair was already parted so I just had to redefine the parts. This is much faster than when I have to create new parts. I should also show a picture of my laptop since computer games are the only thing that hold Baylie's attention long enough to do her hair.

We started at about 10:00 in the morning and finished at 10:00 at night. We had a short break for lunch and a couple breaks while I cut more yarn. We saved the beading for the next day. (Had I created parts, I would have probably taken a separate day to do that.) I string all the beads and make sure they're even before I cut off the ends.

After all the beads are on, I trim off the excess yarn. No matter how hard I try, I can never get the beads even. I don't know if it's my lack of skill or Baylie's wiggling.

After the yarn is trimmed, I burn the ends. Melting the ends keeps the yarn from fraying.

 The finished product.

Here's a view of the top of her hair. I'm not wild about this picture because I think her hair looks better than the picture shows.

Baylie still hates getting her hair done, but she loves how she looks when it's finished.

I sure love this little girl!

This is My Country

I've traveled across the globe and I love to visit foreign countries. That being said, there is no place like home. I love the United States of America. I am concerned about many things that are happening these days, but it doesn't change my belief in and love for this country. I hope to pass this down to my children.

We like to do holiday crafts to get us in the mood to celebrate.

We make holiday goodies.

The weather today was absolutely crazy. It went from nice and sunny to pouring rain, to sunny, to rainy again. It was like that all day.

Our awesome neighbors invited us to spend the holiday with them at their mom's house. It is a beautiful home  and the landscaping is amazing. The pool was a beautiful infinity pool that looked out over a lake. Jalen was scared of the water at first, but before long he was having a great time.

Baylie is a little fish this summer. She is excited that she can swim all by herself.

It rained on us in the water. Since there wasn't any lightening, we just kept on swimming.

Edge of infinity.

Yummy food! I wish I had taken a picture of the ribs we ate.

And this is the amazing ice box cake dessert. Our neighbor Claire is an amazing cook!

To end it all, we lit off sparklers. The kids are still afraid of all other kinds of fireworks. In fact, Baylie prayed tonight, "Please bless that the fireworks won't sound like cannons."

God bless the U.S.A.