I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love my religion. I believe in a living prophet. I believe he speaks with God. I believe that if I follow him, I will have a better chance of returning to live with God again. I also believe that I am entitled to go directly to God when I have doubts about things that happen in my church.
Recently the LDS Church made a policy change that is perhaps the most divisive of my lifetime. It has caused the Church and its leadership to come under significant criticism. This is not unusual. What is unusual is that so much of the criticism and confusion is coming from within the Church. There is a lot of hurt and anger. It makes me sad. I'm saddened because I love people who are affected by the change and it makes me sad because I love my church and the prophet and it hurts me to see them criticized. But I must confess that parts of this policy change in and of itself are confusing to me and also cause me to hurt.
The first part of the change I understand. It states that individuals who elect to cohabitate with or marry a partner of the same sex need to go through a church disciplinary process and be excommunicated. This makes sense to me. This is not a situation where someone is dealing with same sex attraction but trying to live the tenets of the gospel. This is a situation where someone has turned their back on this basic teaching of the Church and decided to embrace a homosexual lifestyle. That is their choice and that is fine. I can love someone who lives a different lifestyle than me. But the Church has specifically stated that they do not support this lifestyle and it would be unreasonable to expect to enjoy full fellowship in the Church while disregarding its teachings. In the past there has been confusion and inconsistency where some bishops would discipline individuals in this situation and other bishops would allow a person in this situation to participate in the gospel by holding callings and partaking of the sacrament. There needed to be a clarification. The Church also needed to clarify that just because same sex marriage is legal doesn't mean that it is acceptable in the Church. Individuals can't expect a religion to modify its tenets in order to match their lifestyle, even if they agree with other aspects of the religion and want to be members of it.
The second part of the policy is much harder for me to understand. It states that children who are being raised by same-sex parents can no longer be blessed (meaning the official blessing that gives them a name and a record in the church), baptized, or receive the priesthood until they are 18 years old, clarify that they do not support same sex marriage, and leave their parent's home. I wonder where an 18 year old is supposed to go if they have to leave home. I wonder if other Latter-day Saints who support same sex marriage will have their church privileges revoked - something that doesn't currently happen. It seems unfair to prevent one group from getting baptized while allowing the other to maintain privileges.
My daughter is going to be baptized in four months. She has been talking about this day for years and now that it is drawing close, she is obsessed about it. She can't wait. She plans to invite family, friends, classmates, and teachers - many of whom are not of our faith. I learned there were some children who had baptisms planned for this weekend who were unable to be baptized. That breaks my heart. Were that to happen to my daughter, she would be completely devastated. She would be confused. It would be a negative memory that would stay with her the rest of her life.
I can understand the desire to not teach a child something that will cause conflict in their home. I am trying to gain a better understanding, but some of the explanations I have heard ring hollow to me. I am particularly confused about what happens to children who are being raised in an LDS home, but where custody is shared with a parent who cohabitates with a same sex partner. There are so many individual scenarios to consider. I know that exceptions can be made if a local leader makes an appeal to the First Presidency. I just hope that as this process takes place, children are not hurt. I know that would never be the intention of the Church, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. I'm particularly worried about teenagers who I think are even more vulnerable than Primary-aged children.
I have lots of questions. But these questions do not chip away at the foundation of my testimony. I will give my church and the prophet the benefit of the doubt. I will wait to see how things work themselves out. I will not jump to conclusions based on what I read in the media or on facebook. When I have questions, I know that my answers will not be found online, they will be found on my knees.
For more on this policy, go
here.
