Happy Mother's Day

I love my mom!

She loves my daughter and taught me everything I know about being a great mother.
I hope to grow to be more like her.

When You Want to Throttle a Kindergartener

Yesterday, Baylie told her daddy that she thought she was the "F-a-t word." Because of my weight issues (both physical and emotional), we have made a determined effort not to talk to Baylie about weight. We do talk about healthy eating and exercise.

We've been a little concerned about Baylie because she is a bit heavy, but we don't want her to be worried about it. We spoke with the pediatrician at the kids' well-child visit and she said Baylie is perfectly healthy and to not focus too much on it. The doctor encouraged us to continue emphasizing healthy eating habits and exercise.

Tonight at bedtime, I asked Baylie about what she told her daddy and why she said it. She finally admitted that one of her classmates - a boy - told her she was fat. And then she started to cry. And then my heart broke.

I asked her why if people tell her almost every day how beautiful she is, she would instead believe the words of her classmate. She kept saying over and over that she just feels big. She cried quite a bit. I just held her and let her cry.

She said she thinks she's big and that she'll never be skinny. We spent a lot of time talking about how people are all different: tall and short, skinny and bigger, dark hair and light hair, etc. We talked about the fact that one body type is not better than another. She told me that when you're skinny, you can see your abs, like her cousin Lauryn. I told her that sometimes skinny people want to be bigger; people with curly hair want straight hair; people with straight hair want curly hair; tall people want to be short and short people want to be tall. We talked about some of her classmates and how while some were skinnier than her, some were her same size. I asked her if she thought there was anything wrong with the classmates that were her size and she said no. I pointed out that the girls in her gymnastics class are all different sizes too.

I asked her if she was embarrassed because I'm not skinny. She said no, so we spent some time talking about how I'm bigger than one of her friend's moms, but that I'm still a good mom, I still have a good family, her daddy still loves me. She asked me if I was ever skinny and I told her no. For some reason, that seemed to comfort her.

I told her that the only thing she needed to focus on was eating healthy, and not more than her body needs, and exercising. I also told her that it would be okay to tell her classmate that what he said hurt her feelings.

I felt so helpless. I had no magic words. She is such a beautiful child and people are always telling her that, and yet it just takes a careless word from a classmate to crush her self esteem. Most of all, I worry because I know all too well what it is like to grow up with self-esteem issues related to weight.

Jalen didn't hear the entire conversation, but he knew Baylie was upset. When we had finished talking, he rubbed her back and told her she was pretty and beautiful. It was the sweetest moment.

My mom once told me that dealing with your own trials wasn't hard. It was watching your children deal with trials and knowing you were helpless to fix them that was difficult. I'm starting to understand.

Farmer's Market

I belong to a farmer's market co-op. Every two weeks, a group of women each pitch in $10 to purchase produce from the state farmer's market. The women in the co-op take turns going to the market to make the purchases.

The state farmer's market is the place where farmers from all over the state come to sell their wares. Below is a warehouse where purchases can be made.

There are also vendors that set up outside. This is the location of my favorite vendor. Because there are so many of us purchasing as a group, we're able to buy in bulk, buying cases and bushels of produce.

After we make our purchases, we go back to the church or to someone's home to sort everything into individual baskets.

This is what my $10 purchased this week. Way more than I'd get for $10 at the grocery store!

AWESOME!

Mom's Day Off

As all of my fans know (that's you, Mom), for the past 14 years or so, I've given myself a day off for my birthday. When I first started this, I was a single professional. When I became a mom, I decided I still needed a day off. And while David always pitches in and helps out with everything every day, giving me breaks on a regular basis, there is something about spending an entire day doing whatever I want that just rejuvenates my batteries.

Last year I went to an impressionist exhibit at the museum of art. The year before that I toured historic Columbia and went cemetery hopping. Some years I do amazing things and other years it's more mellow. This was a mellow year.

I slept in and spent the morning relaxing at home while David took the kids to their well-child check ups. Then I went to the library to pick up a few books.

My next stop was Panera Bread. I still like La Madeleine best, but there's not one here. This time I chose a turkey avocado sandwich along with the fuji apple salad I usually order. My book of choice was Agnes Grey (I'm having a Bronte sister obsession at the moment. It started when David chose Wuthering Heights as our book to read while he gives me my nightly foot rub. Yes, I am spoiled.) I absolutely love sitting in a café, eating a fun lunch while reading a book. It makes me feel so intellectual.

Then I went to the movie theater. I had an Entertainment booklet coupon for a free movie on my birthday. Even though my birthday was a couple of days ago, they let me use it.

I had the ENTIRE theater to myself. So awesome!

I saw Divergent, which overall I really liked. One thing that drove me crazy and distracted me throughout the movie was the fact that they had Tris and her mom wearing mascara and eye liner, which Abnegation did not do. I wish they had cast a smaller actress as Tris since she was supposed to be tiny and is bigger than Christina and almost as big as Four. I wish Christina had gone with natural hair since I always pictured her that way. I also didn't really feel much chemistry between Tris and Four or between Tris and her mother, or actually Tris and anyone else in the movie, which made later events less emotional than they should have been. Overall though, I thought they did a good job of transferring the book to screen and I enjoyed the movie.

After the movie, I spent some quality time at this sacred place. I love going to the temple and today was no exception. It was a peaceful way to spend a couple of hours and I had a tender moment while here.

Next I decided to go to yet another movie. This time it was Draft Day. I had an entertainment coupon for $2 off and then used a Staples rebate card to pay for popcorn and a drink. I found the movie fascinating and wonder if that's really what draft day is like. There was one gross obscenity that was completely unnecessary and upsetting.

On the way home, I stopped at Chipotle Grill and got a burrito and chips to share with David.

It was a great day, completely relaxing and enjoyable. I love this tradition!

I'm Old!

Forty-five years ago at about 4:30 in the morning I was born in San Gabriel, California. Yep, that makes me 46 years old. Sigh. (It also makes me a California girl, which according to the Beach Boys is a good thing.)

I'm not sure the years have been kind. I'm losing my sight, my hearing and my hair. At least I still have an entourage willing to fix it for me.

And in spite of everything, I still have a devoted husband who makes me breakfast.

And kids who think I'm awesome.

I'm including these awful pictures of myself in the hopes that next year my pictures will be very different and these can be my "before" pictures. I think I have potential because I was a seriously cute little girl.

My all time favorite personal birthday post is still found HERE. It proves that I have done a lot with my 46 years, even though sometimes I forget.

I'm throwing these pictures in just to show that four people can sleep in a queen-sized bed, even though one of us ends up looking and feeling a little bit haggard. (I love that Baylie and Jalen both have the same arm thrown up over their head.)

And as a reward for making it this far in this post, I thought I'd throw in this gem. Yep, I've even worn a tutu. Who knew?

Happy Easter!

We started the day yesterday with egg decorating. Like last year, we just opted for food coloring and vinegar. It works great.

Baylie is a fanatic egg colorer. (So are David and I. We each had 10 eggs to color - I cut down from the usual dozen this year.)

Jalen was speedy and finished way before the rest of us. 

We also decided to do our Easter dinner yesterday rather than on Sunday. It made Sunday a lot more peaceful and less stressful.

Baylie woke us up at 6:30 in the morning to tell us the Easter Bunny had already come. Jalen was still asleep. I am pretty sure that is the only time in their lives that Baylie has woken up first - or that early.

We made her go back to bed and wait for Jalen to wake up. He was only about 20 minutes behind her. I think he may have had some help. They were both excited about their baskets. The baskets were pretty simple. I got the candy and coloring books from the Dollar Store - not much candy - and movies that were on sale at Target (new Disney Blu Rays for only $13!).

The kids looked amazing in their Easter outfits. We have the cutest kids!

Strawberry Fields Forever

Today we made our annual trek to the strawberry fields. It is one of our favorite family activities. This year we were joined by our friends the Jones family. Both Baylie and Jalen have decided they want to live with the Joneses (but they want me and David to live there too).

It was a little chilly this year, but not bad. I remember the first year we went, it took FOREVER to fill our bucket. Now the kids are so fast, the time passes too quickly.

The Joneses picked five baskets, we picked two.

Of course, we had to sample the goods.

When we got in the car, these baskets were equally full. Somehow, by the time we got home, the basket in front of Baylie had decreased in volume.

We made white chocolate covered strawberries. Lest you think differently, this is the 'before' picture. It's the taste that counts, right?

I made 6 1/2 pints of freezer jam.

I also made my first ever pound cake. We're having it tomorrow with whipped cream and strawberries. Usually I make a strawberry pie, but I wanted to try something new.

As always, I wonder if the cost is really worth the quantity we get, but it's more about the experience than the fruit. Plus, I don't always like strawberries, but these are so sweet, I love them.