The Batchelor Pad: Stop Now if You Have a Weak Stomach

Funnies by Baylie

To Jalen: "We're not poor, we're just financially instable." (BTW - we're just fine!)

Baylie's prayer: "Please hep us to make it to Christmas without being super, duper poor." (because I keep saying we can't do stuff because we're using our money for Christmas :) )

"If I were 29, I'd totally be texting right now."

David, "This dinner is delicious. You should signature this. Baylie, your mom's a chef."

Baylie, "Mom, you should get a job at Hooters!"

Baylie: "Baptism is basically like repentance, but without all the work."

Me: Have you guys had breakfast?

Baylie: We had jellybeans.

Me: "Are you guys going to dress like babies next Friday for March of Dimes?"

Baylie: "No. I've gotta think about my rep."

"Some words aren't everyday words. Like 'twerking'."

I didn't go to the church dinner tonight because my knee was hurting. I asked my kids if anyone ate the dessert I sent. Baylie responded, "I ate it. It was so good. It looks like it would be terrible, but it was so good."

Me (feeling kind of proud of myself): "Do you know why I make goody plates for the neighbors?"

Baylie: "No, why?"

Me: "Because Grammy always did."

Baylie: "Is that also why you say bad words when you get really mad."

(pause)

Me: "No, that's because of Granddad."

Ah, legacies.

Baylie on spending the last of her birthday money: "I hope I never get a hundred dollars again. It's too much work!"

We had a special musical number - a duet - in sacrament meeting. One of the men was a former member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. When they were finished, Baylie leaned over to me and said, "They were even better than me. And that's saying something!"

From tonight's scripture study in Moroni 1:19

David: "And it came to pass that there were sorceries, and witchcrafts, and magics; and the power of the evil one was wrought upon all the face of the land..."

Baylie: "Voldemort!"

Funnies by Jalen

Baylie (who cannot stand silence): "Let's play a word game."

Jalen: "1, 2, 3, that's enough for me!"

Jalen: When I grow up, I want to work for NASA.

Baylie: Then you'll have to get good grades.

Jalen: Never mind. When I grow up, I want to work for a donut shop.

Jalen: "If I ever need a wife, I'm going to wife.com."

Jalen: "I'm going to go online to find a date."

Me: "What?! You are way too young to date."

Jalen: "I know. I just want to see if there are any good ones left."

Jalen: Actually I'm not going to have kids.

Me: Why not?

Jalen: I'm going to have an orphan.

Me: Why do you want to have an orphan?

Jalen: Because kissing is gross.

Jalen holds David's hand as we get ready to bless the food and says, "You don't know where that's been."

Baylie: "Mom, I've learned how to play 'A Place in His Arms' and 'Silent Night' just by ear."

Jalen: "Guess what my talent is? Making farts in my arm pit."

Jalen: "Why can't I play with my friends on Sunday?"

Me: "Because Sunday is a holy day and we keep it sacred. It's a commandment."

Jalen: "Worst commandment ever!"

Jalen's response when I tell him we have girls coming over for Family Home Evening: "I'm making myself look nice because they'll probably fall in love with me."

Part of Jalen's homework was to list three things he wants in life. His answer? "A girlfriend, a sweet car, and an x-box."

So glad we've taught him about what's really important.

Mormon Temples I've Seen (45) * = been inside

Atlanta, Georgia*
Bountiful, Utah*
Brigham City, Utah
Buenos Aires, Argentina*
Cedar City, Utah
Columbia, South Carolina*
Dallas, Texas*
Draper, Utah*
Hong Kong, China
Houston, Texas*
Idaho Falls, Idaho*
Jordan River, Utah*
Kansas City, Missouri
Laie, Hawaii*
Las Vegas, Nevada*
Lindon, Utah
Logan, Utah*
London, England
Madrid, Spain
Manhattan, New York
Manti, Utah*
Mexico City, Mexico
Monterrey, Mexico
Monticello, Utah
Mt. Timponogos, Utah*
Nauvoo, Illinois
Oakland, California
Ogden, Utah
Oquirrh Mountain, Utah
Orem, Utah*
Palmyra, New York*
Payson, Utah*
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Portland, Oregon*
Provo City Center, Utah*
Provo, Utah*
Rexburg, Idaho
Salt Lake City, Utah*
San Antonio, Texas*
San Juan, Puerto Rico
Santiago, Chile
Sao Paulo, Brazil
Saratoga Springs, Utah*
St. George, Utah*
Star Valley, Wyoming
Taylorsville, Utah
Tokyo, Japan*
Tooele, Utah
Washington, DC*
Winter Quarters, Nebraska

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Stop Now if You Have a Weak Stomach

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