For years on Mother's Day, I'd either slip out of church or take the flowers they passed out to mothers with a little stab in my heart because I wasn't a mother. All the kind words in the world couldn't change that fact or make it go away. (Having someone who has children tell someone who doesn't that all women are mothers or that Eve was called mother before she had children is kind, but not really helpful in these moments.) Eight years ago, I received this carnation. This dried up flower bud is one of my most prized possessions. It represents the Mother's Day when I was finally a mother.
I love Mother's Day now. I am a stay-at-home mom, living the life I always wanted to live. It's not perfect, but it's wonderful. Even so, I always have a special part of my heart for those who suffer on Mother's Day. It was a painful day for me for so long that I can't forget those that still suffer when people talk about loving mothers or their amazing children. Many women don't have either.
It's hard to believe that I have now been a mother for eight years. The time has flown by. I wish it could go slower. I've tried to enjoy every moment, but even so I look back at Baylie and Jalen's baby pictures and wish I could have just a little more time.
My Mother's Day celebration started on Friday when I got to spend time with Baylie and her 2nd grade class. She had made me a cute little booklet of coupons, made me a card, and then they did a Reader's Theater of "I'll Love You Forever" that had all the moms bawling. Then we got to record a memory together. She chose to write about our trip to Disney World. I love this little person and am so grateful to be her mom. When I think of all the miracles that had to fall into place for that to happen, I am humbled and amazed. She is such a blessing to our family. I can't help but feel bad that her birth mother doesn't know how amazing this little girl is. Hopefully one day she will find out.
Jalen DID NOT want to have his picture taken. We probably took 20 pictures before I finally got one with both my kids smiling at the same time.
Baylie made me this awesome banner. She is hoping I will save it and hang it up every year. (I think she got this idea from the banner her Aunt Shanelle made for her baby shower that still hangs in her room.)
On Monday I got to spend some time with Jalen and his kindergarten class. They put on a musical program that was fantastic. He's been singing the songs around the house for weeks. Afterwards, we got to have breakfast together. He is such a fun kid. He is full of energy and emotions - sometimes swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other. He was the answer to much prayer and his adoption is still the most powerful spiritual experience of my life. I also think of his birth mother each year and am so grateful that she chose us to be his family. We wouldn't be complete without him.
I am grateful to my mom for the example of motherhood she has set for me. She sacrifices so much for her children and grandchildren. I look at some of the trials I face and look at how she handled similar trials and it gives me faith to keep on trying. I'm so grateful for the way she loves my children. They love their grammy. I am grateful to my sister for showing me that motherhood is fun and that I should enjoy every moment and not wish away these precious years when I get tired or frustrated. I wish I could be more like her. I also have amazing sisters-in-law that are fantastic mothers and I'm so grateful for their examples of righteous motherhood.
I am grateful to my Father in Heaven for letting us live in families. Where else could we learn, make mistakes, and become like Him in such a safe, nurturing environment? I wish every child could grow up in a loving and supportive home the way I did.
No comments:
Post a Comment